Monday, July 30, 2012

Share and share alike.

I have a major problem opening up to people. It's not that I lie, I just don't tell people things. I don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings with people. My therapist says I need to practice every day, but I can't seem to get started.

You don't have a problem. You have a wonderful gift. In a society plagued with a pathological compulsion to share every detail, no matter how personal, you have managed to develop an immunity to whatever drives a seemingly well-adjusted individual to describe hernia surgery on Facebook.

Of course, your therapist would probably argue that you aren't supposed to be revealing HIPAA-protected data, just your thoughts and feelings and you shouldn't do it in a public forum, like Facebook, just among your close friends. Well, your therapist is getting a bit picky, no? In any event my advice remains the same. You don't need to share every thought and feeling you have because chances are your thoughts and feelings are wrong. Most people's are. Random firing of synapses in response to stimuli does not warrant free license. We can't immediately control our feelings, but we can control whether we share. Journaling is a wonderful way to work through our negative feelings, but we don't always need to inflict our determinations on others. (See: Harriet the Spy.) Sometimes our private thoughts should stay private. Rather than making yourself feel inadequate because you don't want to share something, maybe you should appreciate your restraint. Find a therapist that will work with you on sharing things that are truly bothering you in a productive manner, instead of giving you a blanket assignment to share more.

1 comment:

  1. My problem is I tend to over share it I'm not a very good lier. Hi found you on TFP today and added you to my blog reader, hoping to read loads in the future.


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