Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Food Without Thought

I’ve been stressed recently and I have been overeating to cope. Do you ever eat emotionally?

No. That box of Apple Jacks was empty when I bought it.

In the past, I never ate emotionally. I used to eat because I was socially awkward and I couldn’t stick my foot in my mouth if my mouth was full of crab puffs. It turns out that the only reason I wasn’t eating emotionally was because I didn’t have enough emotional problems. Now I have all kinds of disappointments and stresses on which to ruminate, but these additional character building life experiences have somehow neglected to cure my inherent social anxiety. As a result of this double-whammy, I have a nice, insulating layer of fat to protect me from mean people and my own poor decisions.

The cure for emotional eating is either to stop having emotions or to start abusing drugs. I’m too poor for drugs and I’m basically a carbon-based vessel for transporting mood swings. I'm clearly not alone. My guess is that many of us are several years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy away from putting down the cheese log. At the very least we can alternate cubes of Cheddar Jack with pieces of fruit, then get on the treadmill and run away from our problems.

What’s a good way to cook chicken breasts?

In a casserole with olive oil, lemon juice, white wine vinegar, oregano and rosemary. Add a little water until the liquid is about halfway up the breasts. Cook at 375 until done. Use a meat thermometer. (160 degrees F)

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