Monday, February 27, 2012

Shiftless Quickies

This is the first edition of "Shiftless Quickies," a name that I'm sure will cause me to have a spike in disappointed first-time viewers.

"Shiftless Quickies" is a sarcastic response to recent criticisms that my insightful, well-crafted posts are a tad verbose and that my pain-staking collages are weird looking. Since apparently I can be a little hard to digest, here's a "250-words or less" snack.


You last post seemed to be really negative. What is your problem with advocacy and trying to make the world a better place?

The history of advocacy is the history of rich, white people going into poor neighborhoods and telling people how to live, which is exactly why it doesn't work.

Even with a modern twist, if you base your happiness on convincing other people to act as you do, you should expect be disappointed. We can all make the world a better place, but first we need to respect and accept that our way isn't always the right way. That's not negativity; it's just not what you want to hear.

Do you like platform shoes?

No. I'm not sure who lives a life that requires only taking 10 steps every hour, but it isn't me. I need to be able to start and stop walking without pitching forward like I'm learning how to roller skate.

I'm terrible at parallel parking. What should I do?

Get on with your life. There are things that are worth practicing, and then there are things that should be allowed to wither and die on the vine. Parallel parking is a relic. Soon your car will park itself, so instead of spending time learning how to do the modern equivalent of churning butter, spend the time making enough money to buy a smarter car.

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I love comments. They make me feel like I'm not talking to myself. I try to reply to all of them, eventually.